Dreamer, Tourism and Guest Relations Specialist, Bali, Indonesia

A dreamer, Ms. Juliette Sohilait wanted a better future for herself. A woman who left home country of Indonesia to study abroad. Juliette returned to Indonesia to pursue her dreams on another island, in Bali. She knows multiple languages, is proud of her heritage, her education and her curls. Read on, as Ms. Juliette Sohilait writes candidly about the experiences that finally brought her out of her shell and gave her courage to leave home in the first place.

1. Name.

Juliette Apriliani Sohilait.

2. Where is your hometown? 

Ambon, Island of Maluku - Indonesia.

3. What is your profession/career/title/self-label/designation? What does your average day look like?

Now with the current COVID situation, not sure what to call my profession really. Since I moved to Bali I have worked in guest relations at beach clubs. And now with this pandemic, I am working with one of the brilliant designers here in Bali (@myrahpenaloza), looking after her beautiful boutique. My average day would be, wake up, morning walk, my morning prayer and the bible reading time, breakfast, work, walking my dog, dinner, movie time/podcast time before bed.

4. What did you study in school?

I completed Bachelor of Business, majoring in Human Resource Management and Entrepreneurship.

5. What was the journey like to get where you are (in life and career-wise)? Write about some of the achievements that you are most proud of. What was the breakthrough moment for you (in your personal life and/or career?) that set you on the current path in life?

When I was 11 years old, my family moved to Bali from our hometown, in order for me and my sister to continue our studies. At the time there was a riot between Muslims and Christians in our home town so it was a better option for my family to leave. I was in Bali for four years before leaving for Adelaide, South Australia with my mom and sister to continue high school and university. My dad stayed in Indonesia and travelled back and forth between Adelaide and Ambon (my home town). I finished my high school at Scotch College, and then went to Flinders University in Adelaide finishing Bachelors of Human Resource Management. Two years after my graduation, I decided to move back to Ambon to work with my dad at his company. I worked for him for about three years. It was a good experience to work closely with my family, learn and develop a strong work ethic. My mom and dad are my role models, but working with them was a totally different experience. I saw a different side of my parents and got to see them in a different, professional light. I learned that it’s not only about family values or life values but also what kind of attitude we need to have at work because university and real life are totally different. I realized that not only do we need to work hard but also be positive toward people and have integrity. Not everything is about money and status; we can also be a blessing to other people and offer help when we have more. After three years working with the family, I decided to move back to Bali, do my own thing and gain more experience working outside the family company. I managed to get a job here in the hospitality industry, as a guest relations officer.

At that time, I didn’t know what kind of job I wanted or what kind of career path to pursue but I knew for sure that I wanted a job where I could still speak English every day. When I was hired as a guest relations officer at one of the top beach clubs here in Bali I was excited, thrilled and scared at the same time. Thrilled because I don’t have any hospitality background but a got that job and my first since I got back in Indonesia and outside of the family company. Scared because it was hard for me to talk to people, especially to new people. But I did make a choice to go for it and accept that job. I knew I needed to do something to address my biggest weakness: talking to people.

When I was 10 years old, I started having anxiety and panic attacks. Since then, it was really hard for me to talk to new people even to make new friends. When I was in Adelaide, I went to therapy for about two years and it got better but 100%. I still had anxiety about talking to new people, entering social environments. It was affecting my social life. Accepting that job, in my mind, was a good thing as it forced me to get out of my comfort zone, talk to strangers, all part of my every day job responsibilities.

6. How is your life different from what you pictured at 20?

Back then, the only thing I envisioned was finishing university. Helping my parents and living in Ambon again.

7. Was there a time when life knocked you down or out and how did you get back up on your feet?

Yes, it was couple of years back when I broke up with my longtime boyfriend. We were together for four years. It was also one of the reasons I moved back from Adelaide to my hometown. When that happened, I felt lost and I didn’t know what to do. I felt hopeless. Everything was such a blur. It was very hard to see the future. I also felt that I didn’t know myself anymore at that time and the negative self-talk was definitely not helping at all. Everything felt wrong.

It wasn’t until later when I realized that I was in that toxic relationship. And for far too long. Not only toxic but what I experienced was mental abuse. A relationship where I lost myself. The bad thing was everything happened in front of my eyes, but without me realizing it. I forgot to take care of myself. Now I think I still sometimes struggle to forgive myself because I allowed myself to be treated so disrespectfully.

How did I get back up? It was not fast nor easy. My faith was definitely the reason why I got back up. There were times that it really hurt so bad but I couldn’t do anything to make it disappear or make it less painful. All I could do was pray and tell God everything I was feeling, although sometimes it hurt too much and I couldn’t say anything in my prayer so all I could do was cry and cry as I prayed. But, as it always goes, I felt stronger and stronger each day. I knew that He is the only who would never leave me alone.

I also threw myself into work and friends. They kept my mind busy. I relied on my family as well. I’m lucky for having them as my support system. It is so important to have friends who love you for who you really are and can force you to get out of your comfort zone and try new things but also still can sit in a room and listen to you, like just listen and that’s it.

People always say there’s a light at the end of a tunnel. That is so true! The hurt today will be less than the hurt yesterday and it goes on and on until you’re healed. At the end of that period, I learned to put myself first. I learned to get to know myself again. Most importantly, I learned to forgive myself and the other person. Not for their benefit but for my own (it was not easy for me to forgive, but it’s worth it).

Through this and many other experiences I have learned a lot more about myself (and still learning) and what I’m capable of. I feel like I can face anything.

8. Advice for other women and girls? 

Never underestimate the power within yourself to do whatever you think you’ll need to make you happy. No one knows what you need better than yourself. So don’t let anyone, whoever it may be, stop you from doing things that make you happy. And don’t be scared of making mistakes, otherwise you won’t learn new things.

9. Knowing what we know now in a current political climate in your country and the world, can women be "all that we can be" in today's world? What is the way forward, as you see it, for "feminist values"?

In my opinion, women definitely can be all that we can be, though it is going back to what we tell ourselves.

10. Where in the world do you feel “tallest” (i.e. where is your happy place)?

In Bali, definitely the beach. Under the sun, the sound of the waves, the wind, the sand. I always feel calm whenever I’m at the beach. As I am naturally an overthinker, this is the place where I can feel at peace and be calm. This is where I just enjoy myself and the nature.

In Ambon, I feel my tallest whenever it’s coffee time with my parents. Since I live far from them in Bali, this is where I can connect with my family and still feel that ‘childhood feeling’.

11. What extracurricular activities/hobbies are you most proud of? Why?

I love my early morning power walks. This activity makes me feel more productive during the day. I am not an early bird so the walks definitely help me wake up early and start my morning right.

Recently I did a mountain trek with my friends. I loved it. The view was breathtaking and I really appreciated the beauty of nature. I also love waterfall trekking in Bali. When I was a kid, I was not an outdoorsy and adventurous type but now as I get older it changes and I actually enjoy myself more in nature and the outdoors. I feel like I can accomplish something for myself.

12. What do you want to be when you grow up? Future goals/challenges?

In terms of personal goals, I want to understand myself more and also to be able to have more positivity in my life.

My dream is to have a small coffee shop here in Bali. As I love coffee and love spending time with family and friends. I want to have a place here that is surrounded by nature. Where friends and family can hang out but still feel this peace and calmness of nature.

13. What fears are you still hoping to overcome?

My biggest fear is that of the deep water. I can swim but I am terrified of the deep open water! My feet need to touch the ground at all times. I live in Bali and love love love going to the beach. The beach makes me happy but I am too scared to swim on the beach sometimes because of this crippling fear. I would love to conquer this. Snorkeling and diving seems like a fun thing to do and some day I would love to try it. Even going on a boat is a scary thing for me. So deep water is definitely my fear that I hope to overcome.

I also need to learn how to ride a scooter. Here in Bali, it is the easiest way to get around but it is still too scary for me.

14. Anything you'd do differently, if you had to live life over again?

I would start taking risks earlier.

I used to worry too much about what people thought and was afraid of failure. I was scared of that since my teenage years. Now, when I look back there are things that I wanted to do but didn’t because I was too scared of the result and what people might have thought of me. I have learned that in life, it is worth taking a risk. We live only once and time does fly really fast. You cannot turn back time. Time is so precious. So, while we still have it, time, take the risk and don’t worry about that result. Even if you fail, I think you still learn something new about yourself.

15. What/who inspires you?

Anyone who is honest and kind to people. Anyone who appreciates little things that people do. I think these days, finding people that are genuine, honest and kind is so rare. So when I meet someone with these qualities, I feel inspired to be better for myself and for others. I love getting the sense that there are still good people out there.

17. What are some ingredients to a good life? Has the global pandemic changed your perspective about the world, about your life, your goals and dreams?

Faith, hope & love.

• Faith. In what you believe in, faith in God and also trust that He has a good plan for our life. Faith in yourself to do whatever it is that you want to do.

• Hope. I think the mindset of hoping for something good to happen is important.

• Love. Love for ourselves, accepting ourselves for who we are, trust that individually, we are enough, and we are uniquely created for a unique purpose. I believe in experiencing love for others not because of what they can do for us, but truly love others because of who they are. Part of that love is being gentle and kind toward other people. I think the love for ourselves and others needs to be equal. And I don’t think you can genuinely love others if you first don’t love yourself. I also think we cannot love others more than we love ourselves and vise versa.

Global pandemic definitely has changed my perspective on everything in every way. I think now, I am more appreciative of the little things. Coffee time, quick phone calls, quick messages to check on my loved ones, family, friends, hugs, enjoying good company without worrying about social media or work-related stuff, just focusing on the moment and enjoying it.

Before pandemic, I worked a lot and sometimes I would skip lunches, miss appointments with friends. During my days off, I used my precious free hours to go out to eat, shop and do the busy things. I didn’t dedicate enough time just for me and my betterment. During the pandemic, I learned that at the end of the day, all I have is myself so I really need to take care of that person, physically and mentally.

I remember a long time ago my dad said to me “you eat to work, not work to eat.” At the time I understood it the other way around, but now I get it. Be not a slave for your work nor worry about peers’ opinion. I really need to take care of myself first then work and enjoy it.

18. What are (at least) three qualities you most love about yourself and why? What are your superpowers?

I am patient. In my opinion being patient is important in life, because not everything and everyone will measure up to my expectations. So by being patient I can understand the situation better and afford me more time to think about my next steps. Everything in life takes time, so in order to go through it, even the littlest thing, we need to be patient.

I am kind. Kindness gives me a sense of peace. You never know what other people are going through in their lives. If we cannot help others, at least simply being kind and nice toward people will make their day. Simple smile and “hello, how are you?” could change one’s mood.

I am honest, sometimes to a fault. It makes life easier when you’re honest, I think if you start telling a lie then later you need to create another lie to cover the first one and on and on. It seems exhausting. It hurts people’s feelings too. I think it is important to treat others the same way you want to be treated.

19. What advice would you give your 14-year-old self?

Be proud of yourself, don’t compare yourself to your friends. It’s ok to be weird and feel different. Be brave, do the things that you are scared of. Don’t worry about what people think, worry more about what you think about yourself and what you tell yourself.

And last one would be - love your naturally curly hair. It is friggin’ beautiful.

20. What are you reading now? (what books do you gift most and what are your favourite reads?)

I love reading but these days I read less than what I used to. I’m currently reading Love Out Loud by Joyce Meyer and my Bible. These are my everyday readings.

My favorite reads and the books I gift most are the Chicken Soup for the Soul series. I love readings about true stories and other people’s life experiences that I can also learn from.

21. Who is a WOW WOMAN in your world who inspires you and why? Can you nominate three (or more) women you know who perfectly fit WOW WOMAN description? What would you tell them, if you had an opportunity, why you admire them?

WOW WOMAN would be my mum definitely. She’s brave and selfless. She courageously went into an early retirement when she was at the top of her career so she could accompany my sister and me during our move to Australia. As a result she was able to help her kids obtain a better education. I don’t think many women or men would be brave enough to take such a big step, especially at the top of their careers. I also admire my mother’s faith in God. She isn’t afraid of anything because she knows she is not alone; her rock is her prayer. And last but not least, I admire her patience toward those around her.

22. Where can others find you/your work (links to websites, blogs, etc.)?

I’m active on Instagram only @juliettesohilait

Bonus quick round:

1. What and who is worth suffering for? 

Family and people who genuinely care about you.

2. Who from your past are you still trying to earn acceptance from? 

No one really. I learned that all I need is for me to accept myself. And I’m still in the process of accepting myself for who I am.

3. If you didn't have to work anymore what would you do with your days?

When I was in Australia, I used to volunteer with a church program, helping elderly in a nursing home. I helped them with their activities, playing games, grocery shop, coffee time, teach them how to use their phones and just listen to their stories about the time when they were young. It was one of my highlights from Adelaide. So I think that I would spend my days doing that if I don’t have to work anymore.

4. What bothers you most about other people? What do you love most about other people?

Bothers: people that are not respectful toward other people but ask for other people’s respect. Those who look look down on other people. For example, c’mon say thank you to the security guard or a waiter/waitress when they help you.

Love: honesty and kindness.