Engineer, Gatherer of Wisdom, Surfer, Singer, Santa Teresa, Costa Rica

I met Maja and her family in Costa Rica. The scene was: man sitting next to me at a coffee shop was trying to keep his toddler daughter from opening every single sugar packet, while his son was drawing on the napkins. Suddenly a woman comes in and inherits the chaos, the man leaves. The woman had just surfed and clearly it was her turn to watch the kids as he went on to play. I was curious about the balance and division of child care. Turns out the woman, Ms. Maja Wennerberg Fåhraeus is from Sweden, one of the top ranking countries allowing the best work-life balance to the parents (workers are allotted approximately 41 vacation days a year). In addition, this family decided to take some of their combined 16 months of mat/paternity leave exposing kids to a different culture and practicing surfing. I learned that Ms. Fåhraeus is passionate about developing solar energy infrastructure and is currently building her own house on one of Sweden’s 221,000 islands. WOW Woman interview ensued.

1. Name.

Maja Wennerberg Fåhraeus.

2. Where is your hometown?

I grew up in a small town in Sweden called Arvika, quite close to Norway. I now, since about ten years, live in Saltsjöbaden in the Stockholm archipelago. 

3. What is your profession/career/title/self-label/designation?

Energy engineer with focus on solar, possibility and gatherer of wisdom. 

4. What was the journey like to get where you are (in life and career-wise)? What are some accomplishments you’re most proud of, and what was the turning point to set you on a current path in life?

I spent most of my childhood living  close to nature, surrounded by forest and lakes. I lived there with my parents and our dog. My half brother and sister grew up in Stockholm and we didn't see each other very often, but I feel we have reconnected when growing up and starting our own families, which feels very valuable. I played a lot in the forest when I was a child, by myself, with my family or with friends. On holidays we often went camping, or on ski trips in the winter. I was an impatient but stubborn learner and my parents took me cross-country skiing very early, for which I am SO grateful, it's still one of my favourite things to do. I think all this time spent in the nature lay the foundation for my great love and humbleness for the environment and ecosystems, which has been and still is a major factor in most of my choices in life.

I loved playing but hated practicing, but my parents encouraged (and bribed) me to keep going to enjoy those music camps more every year (pushing just enough but not too much sure isn't easy!) and I still have some skills when I give it a go today!

Basketball basically took over my life in my teens, I spent almost every waking moment  either at school or in the gymnasium, travelling to different cities with my team every other weekend. We really had an amazing time and I shared a passion with my, in many cases still today, best friends. We reached the next highest league in Sweden, and I suppose I could have made a career out of it. But when it was time to decide which way to go I decided to quit. The urge to move from the small town, experience something completely different and see the world was too strong. So I moved to Stockholm, tried different jobs, saved up to travel, and finally after a couple of years decided to start studying Energy systems engineer in Uppsala. Just before I started studying I fell head over heels in love with an incredible, loving, adventurous and sweet man who lived and was building a house on an island in the Stockholm archipelago. My time at the university was therefor for both of us spent going back and forth a lot between the island and the university town. We really put our relationship to the test from the beginning, and I believe that the challenges mainly brought us closer together - we are still in love and got married last year, on a sparkling winters day in the archipelago.

When I was doing my masters we were expecting our first child. So while I was pregnant I worked and studied and went back and forth to the island, quite stressful when I think of it now. I remember that the motor of our boat broke down during that period and we had to row in to the mainland, with me and my big belly lying down in the stern... The island where we live is (in my opinion) one of the most beautiful places in the world. It has no connection to the main land and no running water, so you use your own boat for transportation and rain water for i.e. doing dishes. Drinking water can either be pumped (by hand) from one of the wells on the island, or brought in small tanks from the main land. So building a house on our dream island has been, and still is, a great challenge while working and having small children. Our daughter is one year old and our son is almost six. But I truly believe that, while definitely having our breakdowns over the logistic issues and general tricks for managing our way of life, our children get so much experience and joy in return. And we wouldn't keep doing it if we didn't think it was worth it.

5. What did you study in school?

I chose a program in school containing a lot of maths, physics, chemistry and biology, with a special focus on environmental studies. I went on to the university later where I chose to study engineering in energy systems for 5 years.

At 20 I didn't even know where I would live, in Sweden or in another part of the world. I never had any long term plans really, but tried to see where life took me (not entirely without my saying, of course). When thinking of children I saw myself as a single mom, actually, probably because I thought I'd be better off without men at that specific time, haha! And the year after I met my husband who was just so open and honest about his feelings that it startled me at first, but I then realised that it was a good thing and I should go for it instead of letting it deter me. Definitely one of my best choices in life.

7. Was there a time when life knocked you down or out and how did you get back up on your feet?

I had been studying and working during my pregnancy and finished my studies during our sons' first years while looking for a job. All the while we were building our house and dealing with emotional things that life brings. Finally it all got a bit too overwhelming and I had a burnout with much anxiety, heart racing and panic attacks. I was trying really hard at first to convince myself it had something to do with some physical imbalance that I quickly could fix, but realised I needed to deal with problems from way back. I among other things discovered that breaking down in tears made me panic, which really made me think: "What kind of crap is this? Is this something I want to hang on to and pass on to my kids? NO!"  I met both a doctor and a psychiatrist who encouraged me to work with it "from the inside" before going on anti-depressants. Going through that exhausting period, accepting that I was feeling like crap and an emotional rollercoaster and needed to give it time, getting help and giving space for all emotions without letting fear stop me from doing what normally gave me energy, was enormously valuable. I really became something of a hobby-psychiatrist in the process, both for myself and others...! Knowing that you're not alone can be vital when you feel like you are sinking. (All this being said, I definitely don't underestimate the power of anti-depressants and how they can get you through really hard times, to allow you to live instead of being in constant pain. I'm definitely open to the possibility that I may need them some day.) 

8. Advice for other women?

One of my favourite quotes is: "You can't stop the waves, but you can learn how to surf". 

Have faith, keep living according to your values and remind yourself of what's really important. 

You can't always forgive or forget, but you can choose to what extent you let your past affect your present. 

Take time to really get to know yourself and give space for all kinds of emotions. It gave me so much more understanding and humbleness towards other people and their choices and struggles. 

Don't forget to, every once in a while, do absolutely NOTHING!

9. Knowing what we know now in current political climate, can women be "all that we can be" in today's world? What is the way forward, as you see it, for "feminist values"?

In many places feminism has really taken huge steps forward, in media and politics, while in others it has gone in the other direction. I hope that more and more people learn about feminism and what it truly is about, that it concerns all of us and is one of the keys to so many of the issues we are facing in the world (poverty, population growth, climate change, economy among other things). I think we will need to keep spreading the word for it and keep learning, there are so many values that stand in our way without us even realizing it. Feminist values need to be a foundation, not a "side track" or apart choice, then we can really get somewhere.

10. Where in the world do you feel “tallest” (i.e. where is your happy place)?

Geographically on Goose island, near nature and sea. "Spiritually"? Right now I try to cherish both the moments of total chaos that life with small kids brings, and the moments where we actually all sit down together and talk and laugh. 

When I have time to see my amazing friends, it's really special with those people in my life who have known me and I them since we were kids, even our parents and sometimes grandparents know each other. 

And last but not least, when I sing with the choir I'm in, when we make music and you really feel that it's something amazing to experience and listen to. That gives me some serious "happyplace-hormone" release!

11. What extra-curricular activities/hobbies are you most proud of? Why?

That I sing in a choir! There are so many amazing and inspiring people in this group, and making music together is one of the most amazing feelings I have experienced. We're actually really good, you can check out "Stockholms universitetskör" on Youtube :-)

12. What do you want to be when you grow up? Future goals/challenges?

I want to keep fighting for and believing in a planet that is sustainable in every way. Working with sustainability and renewable energy really gives you both hope and despair in these times. But I believe we all want to survive and should not forget that dreams, perseverance and technology have taken us from utopia to reality before (i.e. womens' suffrage and electricity!). One challenge is to inspire people and let them know about all the great things happening, we can and have achieved so many beautiful and amazing things together, when having faith and work hard to achieve our goals. We will for sure never succeed if we give up. We will  hope we can see less fear and move towards a world democracy instead of building (sometimes actual) walls!

13. What fears are you still hoping to overcome?

I don't believe I really need to "overcome" my fears, rather learn to live with them without letting them take over (told you, hobby-psychiatrist alert!). 

I have a recurring fear of getting a burnout again and try to find a balance there: to learn from my mistakes but not bring afraid to challenge myself and learning new skills.

14. Anything you'd do differently, if you had another go at life?

All my major choices would be the same, I hope, since I wouldn't want to be anywhere else than I am right now (well, it would be nice if our house was ready, so perhaps I would have done some kick-ass investments at an early age...!). I have always been quite wise and calm, looked out for myself and generally made good choices. I wish I had not tried alcohol at such an early age (13 was normal in the town where I grew up, when the brain is still working with crucial development). But I try to learn from mistakes without dwelling on them too much.

15. What inspires you?

People who are not afraid of thinking new and thinking big. When we grow up we often get more and more stuck in certain ways of thinking, and 95% of what we think today we also thought yesterday! So we really need to challenge ourselves to be more free in ideas and structures.

16. What are you hopeful about?

The development and spreading of renewable energy and smart solutions, it has now reached a momentum that cannot be stopped even though some  the hard but persistent work for human rights and I feel growing force for equality and feminism. I am excited to see what positive "side effects" will come from various aspects of a more equal and sustainable world. More and more people are working hard to make this happen and I believe this will continue and be the foundation for coming generations, even though there will always be some rotten eggs who will make us doubt, using scare tactics and misuse of power and false information for personal gain. But hopefully they keep us on our toes…!

17. What are some ingredients to a good life?

Freedom, love, books, music, nature, laughing, physical activity and great food.

18. What advice would you give your 14-year-old self?

Don't worry so much about what other people think. If you are happy and do what you think is right, that's what matters. Don't let people treat you like dirt, or at least speak your mind if they do. And don't be afraid to cry (or eat)!

19. What are you reading now? (what books do you gift most and what are your favourite reads?)

I LOVE to read. Right now most literature is consumed for work or reading aloud for my 6-year old (and trying to keep my 1-yearold from tearing them up…) I really reading the books written by Joanne Harris and Isabel Allende and read all of Roald Dahl and fantasy at an early age. I enjoy reading various books, as long as the language is satisfying and captures me. I actually wanted to be a writer when I was younger and find it fascinating how hard it is to write a really good book and get a story to flow. Oh, the Elegance of the Hedgehog is a great book!

20. Who is a WOW Woman in your world who inspires you and why? Can you nominate three (or more) women you know who perfectly fit WOW WOMAN description? What would you tell them if you had an opportunity, of why you admire them?

I must say it's very hard to pick only one or even three… I know so many amazing women! I know women from growing up and through my studies, giving their time and energy to making the world a better place, getting amazing educations through hard work. I have friends daring to try again after failure and hurt, gathering the strength and courage to get out of destructive relationships. Women in my family and among my friends give everything for their children, supporting them through hard times. Women managing to keep focus on love and sharing in the family when everything feels crazy and busy, and some revalue their identities.

My mother is so kind, generous and playful. She takes care of her mother a lot and visits us as often as she can and plays with her grandchildren so beautifully. She went on interrail through half of Sweden with my son and I when I was expecting my daughter, and we had so much fun! I have always felt that she has been there for me, supporting me and pushing just the right amount when needed, letting me be who I want to be and do what I dream of. She also follows her heart, gives music, yoga and time in the forest the space in her life that she needs. After becoming a mother myself I really respect and admire her all the more.