Guest House Owner, Dancer, Ex-HR Executive, Dharamshala, India

In one of the most populated countries on the planet, India, the pressure to excel for teenagers is immense. In April, the nation’s brightest minds sit to take examinations that will determine whether they secure entrance to one of India’s most prestigious Institutes of Technology (IITs), medical institutes, or business schools. Teens dream of becoming engineers, dentists, or doctors. But with only just over 20 IITs in one of the most densely populated nations on Earth, and vastly over-subscribed dental and medical colleges, competition is intense. What toll does that pressure take, especially if the career one chooses is not fulfilling. Is there an alternate choice or path to take?

What motivates one to switch directions and do a complete 180 from an “established norm”? I was curious to understand the motivation behind Ms. Sakshi Pandey’s move from a lucrative job in New Delhi to a small, albeit idyllic town on the edge of the Himalayas. From a well-paid consultancy to running a small guest house in the mountains.

1. Name.

Sakshi Pandey (which means ‘witness’ in Sanskrit).

2. Where is your hometown?

Ayodhya (Uttar Pradesh), India.

3. What is your profession/career/title/self-label/designation? What does your average day look like?

I was an HR executive in an IT consultancy firm called Athena in Delhi. But after leaving New Delhi I now keep myself engaged in what I am doing right now which is taking care of the guest house called Unmad and guests who are part of it. 

The Unmad is a majestic place in the Kangra Valley of Himalayan Range in Himachal Pradesh state in India. Started by three creative professionals (my brother, myself and another city-to-country convert) who understand the basic needs for an evolved as well as purified mind body and soul.

4. What did you study in school?

I have been interested in history and politics as well as business management throughout my school life. But I chose computer programming and applications further in my life while I was in university. 

5. What was the journey like to get where you are (in life and career-wise)? What are some accomplishments you’re most proud of, and what was the turning point to set you on a current path in life?

This question has a really Important place in my heart. While I was working as an Human Resources consultant in New Delhi, I was so curious to know about people from different backgrounds and cultures. I knew I wanted to travel more, but I couldn’t at the time nor was I ready to go off and see the world. I needed some time to understand it.

Meanwhile my brother Krishan whom I call my best friend (after my 7 year old niece) invited me to visit him in the Himalayan mountains where he already started living his dream with his kind-hearted best friend Aparna Saha. My life changed from that visit on. When I first came to the Unmad (a small guest house my brother was running in the mountains), I felt like a child who wanted to take everything in at once. The beauty, the essence of the surrounding nature were breathtaking. That very moment I decided that I will be the part of the Unmad and will support it till the end of my life.

I still needed to figure out which is  my greatest achievement but still I do remember my best one up till now: the day I handled the guest house all by myself. That was my memorable achievement that gave me the courage and confidence in my abilities. I realized that I am an independent woman, I can achieve things with hard work and with the help of my loved ones. In this journey Aparna and Krish helped me a lot, so I must say that they are also my achievements. 

6. How is your life different from what you pictured at 20?

Believe me, this current life is something that I never dreamed about. I believe I would have had limited dreams, few friends and a conventionally simple life which, most young girls are determined, signifies achievement in Indian society. I still have a lot to achieve and I believe that I started my journey toward reaching my goals. 

7. Was there a time when life knocked you down or out and how did you get back up on your feet?

Well, like most of the women I was very sensitive and I felt like failure was solely due to my weaknesses until I started challenging my own thoughts and emotions. In initial year of my career back in Delhi I was very shy and it was hard to  convince my colleagues that being sensitive was not a disease. I was not aware at the time that I was suffering from a mild depression. I decided to leave my job for a short time, and interviewed at various companies. That was a hard time in my life because I isolated myself from family and friends and took time for myself. 

I enjoy so many aspects of the journey, I appreciate learning about other countries through our guests, understand their hopes and dreams and reasons for visiting India. Before leaving my job I took a deep breath and talked to my brother about my desire to move. He was very supportive, took time to teach me how to handle various situations and deal with adversity. I got back up on my feet and still it’s a constant learning process, day to day.

8. Advice for other women?

I feel like I’m still too young to have any advice to give. But as a human being and a woman I must share that actions takes time. Enjoy the process of it, never hold yourself back from doing what ever you truly love or desire. I believe that our best gifts come from nature. We are emotional and sensitive and I believe that helps us to make the right decisions, by following intuition. I know this world still needs to recognize our efforts and leadership, and it can be possible when we are willing to finally take steps and make decisions. Our prince charming can wait but not our inner queen.

9. Knowing what we know now in a current political climate, can women be "all that we can be" in today's world? What is the way forward, as you see it, for "feminist values"?

To me being "feminist" means having equal rights and opportunities to speak about our hopes and getting a chance to reach our potential. I believe our political environment in India has changed in the last few years. "Mahila shashastri karan (women empowerment)“ is creating new opportunities for us and overall India is not same as it was before independence. For example, we had our first female prime minister a while back and she was one great woman and a leader. And I’m certain that the world will see another Indian woman prime minister. Still there remains male hypocrisy at various levels of government and life in general. This creates a negative environment in India that you can't deny. 

10. Where in the world do you feel “tallest” (i.e. where is your happy place)?

So far I have learned from my life that your inner self needs to get calm before one can advance. If you are not happy on the inside, it makes it hard to give and receive happy vibes. For me though I must say that in the mountains I feel my “tallest”, as here I am most relaxed. 

11. What extra-curricular activities/hobbies are you most proud of? Why?

I just love dancing. It is like my happy mantra these days. I also love cooking. I try to read palm lines as well sometimes, but I am still learning.

13. What fears are you still hoping to overcome?

Although these days I am a strong person, at times I am still concerned about my confidence and self esteem (which has changed a lot but still). I try to become more confident each day. I guess that's all I want to overcome now. I also try to be stay humble without losing my self-respect which is quite hard sometimes.

14. Anything you'd do differently, if you had another go at life?

Yes sure. I think I am a people's person and I feel like I could always give better care to people. I believe in our society people who are mentally unstable need more care, love and awareness. I am from Delhi so I will start from there I guess. 

15. What inspires you? 

My childhood in Delhi inspired me a lot, I learned a lot in those years. My life experiences and memories are inspirations for me as well. I believe that I have learned things the hard way. So now I try to make better present because I was not able to have a better past. Although my past wasn’t “tragic” I still believe that life needs to get better and that's why it is an inspiration for me. 

16. What are you hopeful about?

Okay, there is no secret that girls dream about a life partner from a young age. I am very optimistic about meeting my life partner. (I hope this answer is not too cheesy). Most importantly I am looking forward to becoming a more kinder and gentler about life and people around me. 

17. What are some ingredients to a good life?

Good decisions, adventure, few good friends, self love and plenty of good food. 

18. What are (at least) three qualities you most love about yourself and why?

1. My sense of humour - my life sometimes depends on it.

2. I believe I give great advice - I don't believe I can give bad advice to anyone. I wish to be the person people can look to for help.

3. My humility / humbleness - this should be a required quality for every human.

4. Honesty - I try to be honest to everyone as well as to myself.

19. What advice would you give your 14-year-old self?

Feeling lonely or having fewer friends is not necessarily bad. Learn from your ups and downs and use these experiences to grow. Don't worry about marriage pressures or societal pressures on you as a young woman. Be stronger and don't bother worrying about what people have to say about you.

20. What are you reading now? (what books do you gift most and what are your favourite reads?)

I would gift a book that my friends needs in that moment, to learn something useful. 

21. Who is a WOW Woman in your world who  inspires you and why? Can you nominate three (or more) women you know who perfectly fit WOW WOMAN description? What would you tell them, if you had an opportunity, why you admire them?

1. My sister in law, Ankaj Pandey. She has inspired me a lot. The day she entered our house, she made it more of a home. I still wonder how she remains so polite despite the outside pressures. She changed our life with her caring and loving nature. 2. Aparna Saha. She is such an amazing woman I have the privilege of working with every day. She is hard working, creative, committed and never gives up. I wish I met her in my teens  3. I still need to find out who she will be but I will let you know.

22. Where can others find you/your work (links to websites, blogs, etc.)?

Our guest house The Unmad in Dharamsala, Dharamkot in Himachal Pradesh in northern India. Or feel free to reach out to sakshipan00@gmail.com.