Journalist, Recent Grad, Hotel Receptionist, Translator, Warsaw, Poland

This is a glimpse into the life of a Ukrainian woman in Poland. Ms. Ostapliuk was caught in Warsaw when Russia attacked Ukraine. She tirelessly worked around the clock to welcome and offer kindness to the Ukrainian women and children brought to the Warsaw hotel where she works. One of the only staff members speaking Ukrainian/Russian as well as English, Kateryna was indispensable. Most hotels in Warsaw, at the beginning of the Russian aggression, welcomed the busloads of the tired, huddled Ukrainian masses yearning to breathe free. Everything was and remains a bit chaotic; although now there appears to be some order to the chaos.

I have observed Katya at work; she is patient, calm and most importantly kind to the guests, 80% of whom are Ukrainians running from the war. She shyly accepted WOW Woman’s offer to be featured and I’m glad she did. Her answers are thoughtful and give an insight into her quiet strength.

1. Name.

Kateryna Ostapliuk. But I’m also known as Katya, Katarzyna, Katerina, Katjuszka. I have many variations to my name.

2. Where is your hometown?

Cherkasy, Ukraine.

3. What is your profession/career/title/self-label/designation? What does your average day look like?

Professionally, I am a journalist. I completed Bachelor's degree in Warsaw at the Vistula University of Finance and Business. On a daily basis I work at the reception desk in an international hotel here in Warsaw.

4. What did you study in school?

I graduated from the faculty of Ukrainian Law and Foreign Languages (although turned out that law was definitely not my favorite subject).

5. What was the journey like to get where you are (in life and career-wise)? How did you find yourself in Poland? Write about some of the achievements that you are most proud of. What was the moment for you that changed your life (in your personal life and/or career?) that set you on the current path in life?

I got to Poland really by accident. Even in the 8th grade, I decided that I will study design (it's not surprising because I graduated from seven years of art school and I love drawing).

In 10th grade, we had to decide what exams to prepare for. For admission into the design field, I needed to enter the creative competition. I took the chance, but I didn’t believe in myself; I did not pass the creative competition. To this day, it makes me a bit sad. After design, the second choice for me was to pursue journalism. I started visiting universities and I decided on Odessa (my favorite city in Ukraine).

As I was preparing for my exams and for applying, it turned out there were no scholarships for journalism left. So after calculating how much I would have to spend on my studies, my mother suggested I go to Poland. I always wanted to live in Europe, and studying there seemed like a good opportunity to do so. That's how I ended up here. The choice of the university was really quite serendipitous.

The first two months in Poland were really difficult for me. I cried all the time and wanted return home. I came to Warsaw five days before my 18th birthday and I didn't know anyone here. Only my dad, whom I didn't know for a year, came for my birthday. Then I didn't know him again for a year. I cried, I cried, every second. I thought about throwing it all away and coming back. But what stopped me was this inner monologue: "What do you mean? Don’t you have the strength or what? You can't go on with what you dreamt about for ages? It's not possible to throw everything away. You wouldn't be you if you threw everything away. How will you be able to live with yourself?" 

And so it got better, every day, there were many problems. With living, with studies, with people... But I learned to solve the problem myself.

6. How is your life different from what you pictured at 20?

I'm only 21 now, so 20 wasn't so long ago. But I thought at 21 I'd be a businesswoman, making millions, but somehow it didn't work out. Yet.

Now I'm doing everything possible to reach my goals I have set for myself.

7. Was there a time when life knocked you down or out and how did you get back up on your feet?

It may sound trivial now but it was a breakup with a boyfriend. You live with the idea that everything is cool and fine, and the next minute he tells you he doesn't love you. It hurts, it really hurts. And I couldn't really get over it for a long time. Maybe sounds silly to someone else, but it was really a hard moment for me.

I've been to psychologists, I've tried different techniques, but I've only really survived (although maybe not yet completely) when I let go and stopped hoping that everything would come back to the way it used to be. I realized that I deserved the most true love and this was not it.

8. Advice for other women?

Be yourself, love yourself and respect yourself first.

9. Knowing what we know now in a current political climate, can women be "all that we can be" in today's world? What is the way forward, as you see it, for "feminist values"?

For me, feminism is already very much developed in many countries. Women have already achieved a lot of success in telling people what feminism is. But in Poland, for example, in my opinion women have fewer rights than men. For example abortion is forbidden in this country. It is abnormal for me that a woman can't choose whether she can give birth or not; instead she must hide and travel to other countries. In my opinion it is especially important to spread this feminist ideology here in Poland.

Feminism isn’t about "women are better than men" but about "everyone should be equal in the rights and opportunities".

10. You were in Poland when you found out about Russia’s attack on Ukraine. How are you coping? What keeps you sane during these uncertain times?

The situation in Ukraine is the hardest thing to live through for me right now. At 7 a.m. a friend I was staying with received a call from her parents: "the war has started, they dropped bombs on us"! I didn't believe it. I woke up in a second and went straight to the internet. I read and read and I couldn't believe it. I called my parents and they confirmed everything.

I immediately got myself together and went to a protest. Every day for a week I was at the protests or volunteering. Then I realized that I had to go back to work. But it is also hard at work, refugees from Ukraine arrive all the time and you can really see in their faces who is running from the war. They come to me, they hear that I speak Ukrainian and they start to cry. I take passports and see Mariupol, Kharkiv, Sumy (the hardest hit cities with the most terrible situations).

Children. Some children don't understand what is happening or why; some of them are hard to look at. They are so thankful that we help them.

But there is another side to all this. Some people, also Ukrainians, think that they came to rest in Warsaw. They come with questions like "Why don't we have this for free? We are from Ukraine. Why doesn’t everyone understand me here? If you work here you have to speak Ukrainian/Russian. I want a better room, I'm from Ukraine" and so on. It's hard with such people although they are really a small percentage. I worry that when Poles see this behavior, they sometimes harden and start treating all refugees with a bit of contempt.

I believe and hope that this war will soon end, children will return to their parents, sons to their mothers, we to our homes. It will be a different world for sure. And I really hope that everyone will understand and learn from their mistakes.

11. Where in the world do you feel “tallest” (i.e. where is your happy place)?

My home. I only really realized this when I moved. My home is where my family is. The best walks are on the streets I walked when I was a kid. I'm happiest and most at peace when in the backyard with my family; just sitting or barbecuing. When I realize that I need to find strength to do something, I always come home.

12. What extracurricular activities/hobbies are you most proud of? Why?

This may be strange, but I like extreme things. Whenever possible I jump either from a bridge or from a mountain or from something else. And at the same time I like to sit and paint with my hands. Strange combination for me but it is what it is.

13. What do you want to be when you grow up? Future goals/challenges?

Want to be a good person. Just that. 

Professionally, I don't really have anything specific. I'm interested in a lot of things right now. Mainly investments, computer science and photography. So I want to try a lot of things in life. Life is a challenge. It is interesting, sometimes difficult, but certainly amazing!

14. What fears are you still hoping to overcome?

Of the spiders. But seriously, I am afraid of being alone, of loneliness. There was a time when I couldn't be alone, because I was always with my friends, family or my boyfriend. I couldn't spend time with myself. Then I lost a lot of people at one point and it was really hard to get used to being alone. 

It's better now, but I still have that fear.

15. Anything you'd do differently, if you had another go at life?

I would have started "living" earlier rather than waiting for something unknown.

16. What are you hopeful about?

That when I'm old, sitting somewhere on the beach by the sea, I won't regret anything I've done or not done in life.

17. What are some ingredients to a good life? Has the global pandemic and war in Ukraine change your perspective about the world, about your life, your goals and dreams?

Freedom and Love. Freedom in ideas, freedom in thought, freedom in life, independence from stereotypes. Love in many ways. Not only for people of other sex but also for family, places, for people who surround us. Also living for now. I now know for sure that you don't have to wait for the best time to do something, go somewhere and so on, but you have to take a chance and do it.  Fly to another country, admit to being in love, jump from a plane. Don’t wait for a better/perfect moment, because perfect moments never happen. The pandemic took two years from our lives so now no one and nothing will take these moments from me. As for the dreams, they have not changed. I dream to have a job that is creative and not tied to one place. I continue dreaming of traveling and living a very active life.

18. What are (at least) three qualities you most love about yourself and why? What are your superpowers?

I believe that my best qualities must be decided by others, not by me. In my opinion, I judge myself (as well as others) not simply for certain qualities, but on a whole with all the pluses and minuses. I am a person who cannot sit still, I have to work, develop myself, lead an active life. Otherwise, I can't exist.

Secondly, I am a very emotional person. I love it and also hate it. Overall, in my opinion, it is an advantage, because I experience every emotion very deeply.

19. What advice would you give your 14-year-old self? What advice would your 14-year-old self give you in return?

Hmm, also a tough question to answer. Definitely not eating as much as I did.

But really, it's about making the most of life's opportunities. I think that the younger you are the easier you can change something in your life. 

20. What are you reading now? (what books do you gift most and what are your favourite reads?)

Reading one book is not enough. I am used to reading two books at the same time; one is usually some kind of psychology or self-development book. I also enjoy fantasy or something romantic (I like to cry about a book in the evenings and think why it can't be like that in real life?).

Right now I'm reading “Good Girls Go To Heaven, Bad Girls Go Everywhere” by Jana U. Ehrhardt. I really like this book; short and to the point. And of course the advantage is that it fits in my handbag. I read this book in my free time, the movie is terrible compared to the book. I can't really choose which book is my favorite. “The Miracle Morning’ by Hal Elrod is definitely one of the most motivating books I have ever read. It is the reason I get up at 5 a.m. most days. I think everyone needs to read it at least once; and act accordingly.

Most people don’t know this next book series. It is really more of a young adult literature, but I recently read it for the 5th time. It's called “Charodol” by Natalia Shcherba. It consists of three books which I can read in three days. Unfortunately the series is in Russian as well as Ukrainian but it's worth learning a language just to read these books.

21. Where can others find you/your work (links to websites, blogs, etc.)?

My IG: cath.ostapliuk