Massage Therapist, Firefighter, Entrepreneur, Mother of Twins, Artist, Kobarid, Slovenia

While in Poland, I volunteered in a shelter with Ukrainian women and children who survived the terrors of Russia’s bombs. In the middle of the chaos and confusion, a WOW Woman I previously photographed in Slovenia checked in with me, asking how things were going. Check-ins during emotionally trying situations are so appreciated and this one came at exactly the right moment. The text read, “How are you? Busy probably... I would like to donate some money. Not much, but I think it will help a little. If someone will have a full stomach, even for one day, I will be happy. Can I transfer it directly to you?” Messages like this carried me, whether people realized it or not; they offered solace and encouragement. I am so thankful to Ms. Tina Sivec Matelič, the author of the text, and incredibly happy to shine light on her in this WOW Woman feature.

Ms. Sivec Matelič is not only a creative soul, a strong masseuse and an entrepreneur, she also fights fires as a volunteer firefighter in her home town of Kobarid, Slovenia. Tina answers that dreaded 3AM call, rushes to the firehouse, throws on the fire retardant clothing and onward to help in a catastrophe. Through the unyielding determination and professionalism, Ms. Sivec Matelič secured her rightful place in this male-dominated environment and is now one of the senior members of the team. However Tina’s biggest flex, in my opinion, is raising twins while running her own business and volunteering with the fire department. I’m in awe of Tina’s trifecta powerhouse lifestyle and her humble attitude toward life’s challenges. Speaking of facing fears, I woke up to this text: "I had to tell you that I went in a helicopter, twice (!) in a short period of time! And it was awesome! We had a few fires around we had to extinguish. It was really something!”. I say fear of flying, conquered!

1. Name.

Tina Sivec Matelič.

2. Where is your hometown?

Kobarid, Slovenia.

3. What is your profession/career/title/self-label/designation? What does your average day look like?

Being a mother of twins, a girl and a boy, places them in the center of my universe. If we're talking about professional life, a variety of different jobs were on the menu until now. I worked as a waitress, florist, employee at a gas station, apartment caretaker, etc. Most of these were part-time jobs dating back to secondary school. Speaking frankly, it took me a little while to get it clear for myself of what I wanted to do “when I grew up”. Art always attracted me. I always loved to draw, paint and create art in many forms. Design school was a natural consequence of that appeal. Plus, I always knew deep down that I’m going to run my own business. I started with a small art pieces and local products store in my hometown. Later on, just for fun I enrolled in a massage course. It was love at first sight. Well, more on the first touch.

As a self-employed entrepreneur I have been providing massage therapy for several years now (since 2016) and I love it. I'm constantly educating myself; my experience and new knowledge enable me to help people in more difficult cases (especially with spine difficulties, which are widespread health problem nowadays). I include alternative therapies as well, like REIKI and meditation, to expand towards a holistic view of a human being.

In my hometown I run a small wellness studio with two saunas. I'm delighted to follow the challenge and it doesn’t feel like “going to work” at all, I just do what makes me happy. Many times, I wonder if more people would find their life mission, would we be so much happier as individuals and as a whole civilization.

If we are talking about business, everything related to massage is my first love. I am still very involved in design and also art. In a co-working office we create websites, promotional projects, art pieces, paintings and much more. Our work list doesn't actually have any drawn boundaries, we are guided mainly by creative impulse.

Not one single day repeats itself in the same way. My job is mostly from Monday to Friday. When we get up we cuddle with the kids a little, prepare ourselves and then I take them to the kindergarten. Then a coffee and a croissant in the nearby coffee bar, usually with the co-worker and some other locals. I live in a small town and we all know each other, it’s really easy to find company. Then the work begins. I have massages and other treatments arranged throughout the day, and in the meantime, I organize myself to do all other jobs and home duties like hanging out with the children, taking the dog for a walk, etc. I usually finish in the evening. I like this way of life, because I am mostly the master of my own time, although sometimes I would still like some more quality time with my kids.

4. What did you study in school?

Design - first fashion design, then the study of visual communications (unfinished graduate because I started my business earlier). I recently enrolled in the study of manual therapy which I want to complete in the near future.

5. What was the journey like to get where you are (in life and career-wise)? Write about some of the achievements that you are most proud of. What was the moment for you that changed your life (in your personal life and/or career?) that set you on the current path in life?

Without knowing exactly why, I’m never satisfied with the average. Sometimes feels like a curse, but it is a good predisposition for personal growth also. I know that for sure, it worked for me until now, in business and in my personal life.

Achievements in general make me feel proud. Those that were given to me, such as being a mom, as well as those that I had to strive for. Even to those little ones which seem to play an unimportant role.

I am also proud of the defeats. When bad things happened to me that crushed me for a moment, I made the most progress. If you are able to see bad experience as a lesson, you got the point. When the storm is over, you have an incredible chance of launching yourself forward. And after that will come achievements and victories. Just don’t give up!

I believe everything that happens to us in life, builds us up in some way. Everything is a piece in the mosaic of our personality and we should strive to make that mosaic as beautiful as possible. Good attracts good and effort is always rewarded at the end. However, we are not always rewarded in the way we imagined or planned. Take that to heart and always be prepared to change your point of view, if necessary.

6. How is your life different from what you pictured at 20?

Oh, I probably wouldn't even recognize myself at 20. I was really without self-confidence back then, fear literally controlled my life. I have done a lot of work on my personality since then. I can only accept that 20-year-old woman with compassion. I'm much more pleased with this version of me that has evolved and is still learning and evolving. I have no doubt that in the next 20 years I will be even happier and pleased with myself. I strive for that, although in fact, only this moment you are in is important.

7. Was there a time when life knocked you down or out and how did you get back up on your feet?

I think the worst period of my life was right at the end of my teenage years. I was much more burdened by what people thought of me, I wanted to please everyone. At one point I lost myself. Then I got pregnant, unplanned, and had a miscarriage, which was accompanied by a difficult experience in the hospital. At that time, I wanted to suppress it all together, which was a big mistake. One day I just collapsed. I had to fight severe panic attacks for a few years and it took a lot of work on myself and fighting to be able to get out of this abyss. But when I did, I came out much stronger, more confident and ready for later challenges in life. Let me mention that the alternative treatments and a lot of research about some different outlook on life were a great contribution to this. Although it was really hard, I am grateful for that moment in time; without going through that and learning about myself I would never have become what I am now. And right now I can say that I am quite happy.

8. Advice for other women?

Don't be afraid to be a woman!

The world has long operated predominantly on the male principle, but the law of nature is balance. As women slowly regained their strength, many of them push themselves in a wrong way, so they took the path of »male feminism«. That means women began to take on masculine energy and try to just take over this masculine world instead of trying to create a different one. Which again does not restore balance and in no way makes women happy, because it's not in our nature. In parallel, »feminine men« have emerged as a result, which only makes everything worse. I don't condemn anyone, everyone has the right to live as she or he wishes. However, I believe that we will only be able to live in harmony when women and men will heal all the historical traumas that have dragged on through generations, find and feel our purpose in this world and start living in balance. Then the interrelationships and the course of the world, which is only a consequence of these, will be completely different. But unfortunately, we still have tons of work to do.

Dear women, much of the way to get there depends on us. We must be proud to be women, open our hearts, engage in healing generational wounds, raise awareness of our inner feminine power, the world needs it for healing, and we have to stop dressing ourselves in the masculine principle of energy because it’s just a deviation from balance. This doesn't mean that women shouldn't do what we want. What matters is the energy that we emit.

9. Knowing what we know now in a current political climate, can women be "all that we can be" in today's world? What is the way forward, as you see it, for "feminist values"?

Like I said before, I and many like-minded people take healthy feminism a little differently than various feminist activist associations. Of course, it's important that women are no longer victims, which is still enormous in the world, and every one of the beatings, insults, every oppression is too much and worthy of condemnation. But as I mentioned in the previous answer, everything in this world needs balance. I think that too many women have taken the position – »I don't need a man«, or »I just need him to to fulfill my wishes and requirements«. A lot of them have become »self-sufficient bosses« with a closed heart. Which, in my opinion, is not our purpose in this world.

We need each other as gender, as equal yin to yang, because that is in our nature. Not only for the reproduction and continuation of the species, but also for growth and development in a spiritual and even evolutionary sense. I think we are all too unaware of this. I want equality combined with the ability to recognize our natural roles as men and women, which are not like we interpret them today.

They are not separated by professions, tasks, hobbies, social positions or statuses. They are separated by the principle of operation, emission of energy. I think they once knew such a way of life in history, but up to this day it has been almost completely forgotten.

10. Where in the world do you feel “tallest” (i.e. where is your happy place)?

I don’t think it’s so much about physical place, although I admit that I’m irreparably in love with my home valley in Slovenia. I wouldn’t live anywhere else in the world. I love the people very much. I like to hang out, but I still don't feel good in crowds so I wouldn't want to live in a big city. Anyway, first you have to create a happy place inside your head, then it won’t matter where you are physically. Nature will always support and fill us. I like to spend time with my family, go into nature, hike in the mountains, stroll along the river. Mainly to recharge when I need it.

11. What extracurricular activities/hobbies are you most proud of? Why?

I am most proud of years spent as a volunteer firefighter in my home town. This activity plays a very important role in my life; I dedicate a lot of my free time to firefighting. One of the reasons is that empathy is a highly valued virtue for me and I feel that I can express it through this activity. But I really think that you have to be born for this kind of passion/mission. You can't “learn” how to understand it. I started ten years ago and I still feel like I cherish these responsibilities. Helping others through this emergency response still satisfies me today, perhaps even more than when I first started.

I like that cooperation is very important in firefighting; working together is key. Solo heroic actions are very short-lived in this field, although on the other hand each of us plays a very important role and in a way is still a hero. However, there is very little room for an ego, at least if we are talking exclusively about interventions.

When my pager beeps, you get up and go, without a doubt or a second thought, even though you never know exactly what awaits you. Someone needs help and the fire squad responds, that’s it, no matter what. This, for me, is a big reason why I do it. Yes, I am very proud to be a part of such work.

I am also grateful for my artistic talent, although due to all the other commitments, it is not always feasible to nurture and develop it. But no big deal, the right time will come for that too.

12. What do you want to be when you grow up? Future goals/challenges?

I have achieved many things in my life that make me happy. I want to go on in this direction, because as I mentioned, I am not satisfied with average outcomes. As a result I’m always striving for growth; who knows where this will take me.

13. What fears are you still hoping to overcome?

I'm afraid of flying. I've never boarded a plane before. I want to work on myself and do that finally. Second, addressing the fear of what others think of me, the fear of rejection, even though it is quite smaller than it was years ago. It is mostly limited just to people who mean something to me. I hope I will defeat this one soon; it will be a step toward absolute freedom.

14. Anything you'd do differently, if you had another go at life?

I do not think so. I believe that things (good and bad) that happen to us somehow build us up. Going back and making different decisions would not turn me into who I am now. Of course, I am sorry to and feel for those folks that I may have hurt with my poor decisions in the past, but the best move I can do at this point is forgiving myself. And this is far more difficult than it seems, we can be our own worst judges.

15. What/who inspires you?

First my family, my parents. They gave me a very important journey for life.

I am also inspired by other people I meet in life. People who are not afraid to show their true selves, who stand up straight despite the difficult things that have happened to them in their lives. Those who do not despair, who still dare to follow their hearts. Positive, sunny people that they always somehow manage to expand you mentally, even though you only meet them once in your life.

16. What are you hopeful about?

Kindness, empathy, helping a fellow man, sincerity and similar qualities should be treated as virtues and not weaknesses.

I hope and strive that my children will gain these qualities over time. I would like to raise them to be good, compassionate, heartfelt people.

17. What are some ingredients to a good life? How did the global pandemic change your perspective about the world, about your life, your goals and dreams?

Hmm, I don't know exactly yet. I don’t think there are any specific ingredients. It is just a path that leads forward. Don't stop, don't give up and try to be a good person. Forgive yourself for past mistakes, your own and other people’s otherwise anger and resentment will erode you from within.

I think my path in the right for me direction started well before the pandemic, so crisis was by no means the worst thing that has happened to me in my life. However, I took it as a test of how strong my will is and how strong my beliefs are. Globally, however, COVID have caused quite some damage to people, especially on a psychological level.

18. What are (at least) three qualities you most love about yourself and why? What are your superpowers?

I strive for growth and development, especially spiritual. I fight for constant improvement, yet I’m a woman who can make mistakes too. I try to always show empathy and be kind. That doesn’t mean I let myself to be exploited and don’t stand up for myself when I feel it necessary. Finally, that ability to see behind the mask that a person usually shows to the world; I think I have that gift.

19. What advice would you give your 14-year-old self? What advice would your 14-year-old self give you in return?

To my 14-year-old self: Even though it seems to you that you don't belong in this world at the moment, in time this will be your greatest quality. Be patient and believe in yourself, everything will be ok.

In return: Don’t lose your innocent naivete. Even impossible things can happen sometimes.

20. What are you reading now? (what books do you gift most and what are your favourite reads?)

One of my favorite books is “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho. A simple, easy-to-read masterpiece. A life textbook for life. “Little Prince” by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry is on the list too. I like to read books that move you in a different way every time you re-read. Since you are in a different place in life, you draw different lessons each time.

21. Who is a WOW WOMAN in your world who inspires you and why? Can you nominate three (or more) women you know who perfectly fit WOW WOMAN description? What would you tell them, if you had an opportunity, about why you admire them?

At the most I’m inspired by simple women who are proud to be women; who radiate this feminine energy, positivity, empathy, kindness, but are still strong, determined and do not let themselves be exploited. Women who allow themselves to feel deep and love unconditionally. I can say with a great certainty that one of them is OIga, the author of this project.

22. Where can others find you/your work (links to websites, blogs, etc.)?

Website: wellnessmodrina.com

FB profile: @TinaModrina and business page: @WellnessModrina

IG: wellness_modrina

Bonus Quick Round Qs:

1. What and who is worth suffering for? For your children, for your family, for your loved ones. However, let me say that we are prone to confusing these two concepts. Suffering for the kids’ sake is fine with me, but insisting on suffering through toxic relationships in order to sustain an external image of a perfect family; this leads to a destructive results. Unfortunately, sometimes we blindly want to believe that bad ingredients bring about good outcomes.

2. What would you do if you knew that nobody would judge you? Hmm, I try to live like this every day. Sometimes I succeed more, sometimes less.

3. Who is/are your mentor/s (men or women)? I met a lot of people from whom I learn quite a bit. The most important mentors for the foundations of my life and work, of course, are my parents.

4. If you didn't have to work anymore what would you do with your days? Exactly what I'm doing now. Maybe I would take more days off to be with my kids.

5. If you could be anyone for a day who would you be? Me. Why would I want to be someone else?

6. If you could relive one year in your life, which one would it be? None. I try to live in the present looking brightly forward toward the future. That's me.

7. What bothers you most about other people? What do you love most about other people? What bothers you is something you need to deal with yourself. Works like a mirror. All you need is a bit of awareness and try not to lie to yourself. On the other hand I truly enjoy, when people are simple, open, positive and sincere.