Steadfast Homemaker, Texan, Goldthwaite, USA

The word steadfast traces back to an old English word stedefæst, a combination of stede, meaning "place," and fæst, meaning "firmly fixed." Mrs. Blackwell describes herself as steadfast and I’d like to add a class act, a pillar of strength and patience to the mix. I was privileged to meet Mary through her husband Bill on their ranch in Texas. Both are fantastic writers and can serve, volley and smash a joke like nobody’s business. They share an unspoken language and Mary’s calmness and a quiet authority are felt and respected by all. She is the WOW Woman who disables rattle snakes with bleach, rescues baby goats in her living room and loves to fish while reading Hugo.

1. Name.

Mary Alice Thomas Blackwell.

2. Where is your hometown?

I have lived in Goldthwaite Texas for 49 years with my husband Bill. Goldthwaite is a small agricultural- based town of about 1800 people in central Texas, USA.

3. What is your profession/career/title/self-label/designation?

Homemaker, wife, mother, grandmother, sister, daughter, friend. I think of myself as “steadfast”.

4. What did you study in school?

I went to junior high and high school in Abilene, Texas. My interests were classical ballet and academics, especially math. I attended Texas Christian University for one year before marriage. I had planned to finish college but other aspects of life seemed more important at the time and after awhile it wasn’t important at all. The Vietnam war was in full swing at the time we married and we had no idea if/when our lives would be disrupted.

And then there was LOVE. 50+ years ago women were actually excited about taking their husband’s name - I never felt like I was losing my identity by doing that - I was just changing.

5. What was the journey like to get where you are (in life and career-wise)? What are some accomplishments you’re most proud of, and what was the turning point to set you on a current path in life?

My journey was relatively smooth and I have been very fortunate. I had good parents, good health, was comfortable financially. My parents brought us up in the Christian faith and attending church was not an option, it was expected. I am so thankful for that. It has meant so much in my life to worship and pray with others, bring our children to the faith, work and study and learn to be a better Christian - or at least try!

Marriage was the turning point for me. I am grateful to have a kind and generous husband, a loving daughter and son, and four spectacular grandsons - each one completely different from the others. They are a joy! And I don’t mean to shock all the feminists, but I am most proud of my marriage of 50+ years. And yes I am only half of that equation! I can’t imagine having spent all these years without someone to share my life.

6. How is your life different from what you pictured at 20?

Growing up I pictured that I would graduate from college with a degree in math and not get married for awhile. I presumed I would live in a city and maybe even continue ballet and my interests in other fine arts. What I never imagined was that I would live on a small ranch and become “acquainted” with agricultural life. However I discovered I loved the solitude and simplicity of life in the country.

For many years we raised Angora goats and I especially enjoyed working with the kid goats. They are very fragile animals and the kids are usually born in the winter. I am proud to say that I have saved a number of newborns that would have died without special care. I have put more than one in my bathtub with warm water to revive it, much to my mother-in-laws horror. I have put them in front of the fireplace to warm them. I have held them under the heater in the pickup for the same reason. One orphan kid I kept in a tall box in the kitchen for several weeks until he could jump out of the box - a sign that he was ready for the world.

And I learned to garden but that was short-lived because the raccoons and deer kept destroying it. The scariest job was killing a rattlesnake - not with a gun but with a bucket of Clorox water. I was in our barn which had a concrete floor and I was cleaning the floor so we could store some furniture in it. Against the wall was a cabinet with a counter top and I saw the snake raise his head up and begin to crawl out of his hiding place. I had no time to think - I just reacted and threw the whole bucket of water on him. And yes, being doused with Clorox will kill a snake! Who knew that life in the country was such an adventure?

7. Was there a time when life knocked you down or out and how did you get back up on your feet?

I have always believed in God and knowing that I can turn to him in difficult times as well as joyous times is a great comfort. The word comfort (from Latin) actually means strength, not just comfort as we think of it. I believe that everything we have and everything we are is by His grace.

1980 was a terrible year for our family. My husband was in a serious car wreck which left him with a permanently crippled ankle and a long recovery. And my dad had colon cancer at the same time (get a colonoscopy right now!) and died at age 68. Family and friends were so loving and helpful in every way. Small towns like Goldthwaite sometimes receive criticism for being limiting and intrusive in some ways, but when there is a crisis people really come together to help each other. My children, eight and four years old at that time and I still remember the extra kindnesses of teachers and friends. Small towns are a comfortable place to have a family.

9. Knowing what we know now in a current political climate, can women be "all that we can be" in today's world? What is the way forward, as you see it, for "feminist values”?

Be patient. Change takes time. Teach your sons and daughters that all cultures, all religions, women AND men have value and a little kindness goes a long way.

10. Where in the world do you feel “tallest” (i.e. where is your happy place)?

When I’m with my grandsons. When I’m sitting on the back steps watching the sun set. When I’m sitting by the water with a fishing pole in my hands. And a combination is the best.

11. What extra-curricular activities/hobbies are you most proud of? Why?

I once caught a 28-pound catfish! I don’t think I would use the word “proud” but I enjoy fishing, and various crafts (I like making things with my hands). And I’m very useful around the house and ranch repairing whatever needs “fixin’”.

12. What do you want to be when you grow up? Future goals/challenges?

I would like to be a better person - more loving, more patient, more generous, more forgiving, kinder to myself and others, more compassionate. My husband is my role model.

13. What fears are you still hoping to overcome?

I hope I am aging gracefully. I dread being limited physically or mentally as every year passes, and dread losing independence although there are family and friends to help. I hope I can be appreciative of help offered.

And I hope with God’s help I can accept the loss of more family members and friends as time goes by.

14. Anything you'd do differently, if you had another go at life?

I probably should have had more fun along the way. I’ve always been a very serious person. I could have “lightened up” a bit as my father-in-law used to say.

15. What inspires you?

I am awestruck by people with great talent - composers, artists, for example. I admire people who have a facility for learning new languages. (I am a miserable failure at French and Spanish.) I am inspired by the beauty of nature - and feel close to God when I see his handiwork - a field of flowers, a beautiful sunset, the power of the ocean.

16. What are you hopeful about?

I hope to experience more time with family and friends - maybe see some of my grandsons graduate or get married. I hope to travel more with my husband Bill. There are many places I would still like to go with him.

17. What are some ingredients to a good life?

Faith in God, a loving spouse, close friends, hard work, patience, respect, forgiveness, and gratitude.

19. What advice would you give your 14-year-old self?

Be more outgoing. Don’t be such a nerd!

20. What are you reading now? (what books do you gift most and what are your favourite reads?)

I’m not reading anything at the moment - I have discovered how to stream movies and videos - you could say I’m a late-bloomer as far as technology is concerned.

My favorite books have been my favorites for many years - Les Misérables by Victor Hugo, The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett, Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver, Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry, The Perfect Storm by Sebastian Junger and books by Jon Krakauer.

21. Who is a WOW Woman in your world who inspires you and why? Can you nominate three (or more) women you know who perfectly fit WOW WOMAN description? What would you tell them, if you had an opportunity, why you admire them?

I most admire women who have had to struggle to get where they are today - either because of poverty, circumstance, family background - and are leading a happy life, are productive, financially secure, and have carved out a place for themselves (and their family.) I admire women who have worked hard and persevered to reach their goals and are not bitter or resentful.

One friend in particular I am thinking of grew up in Alpine Texas and came from a very poor hispanic background. She graduated from Southwestern University on scholarship, married her high school sweetheart, has been a well-respected school teacher for 20+ years, raised two sons, one of whom is on full scholarship to Harvard and the other son will graduate high school this year and go on to whatever university he chooses. What a WOW Woman!

22. Where can others find you/your work (links to websites, blogs, etc.)?

Come to our ranch or our lake house in Texas. I will be watching the sunset or fishing.