Student, Seeker, Listener, Survivor, Lima, Peru

Incredibly insightful and charming, Ms. Elizabeth Morgan captured my attention and imagination from the moment we met in Lima, Peru. Moving away from home, starting school in another country, travelling across the world for a work opportunity takes guts. Appreciating and soaking up every moment requires wisdom and intuition. Why do I think Wiz is a WOW Woman? She persevered and continued to learn, grow and evolve. Through hardships and heartbreak Wiz courageously harbours hope for a fairer world and seems to walk the walk, carrying out small acts of kindness and love along the way. I admire that very much. Thank you Wiz for opening up and sharing your truth; I offer nothing but support and love from all of us in the WOW Woman community.

1. Name.

Wiz (Elizabeth) Morgan.

2. Where is your hometown?

Bishopstoke, UK. But I live in Amsterdam. 

3. What is your profession/career/title/self-label/designation? What does your average day look like?

I’m an International Fashion Management student. For the past two and a half years I have been in a state of focus during the school semesters. It’s a lot of group work so my days were usually spent acclimatising to different characters, familiarising myself with compromise and adjusting my schedules to meet the general consensus. Outside of school though I find my flow through cooking (it’s the time I feel most energised and excited) and time with my favourite humans. So basically my average day is: Awaken. Eat. Group Work. Cycle. Eat. Converse. Sleep. 

4. What did you study in school?

Well I'm late, or lets say mid bloomer in terms of academic ‘stuff’. I went to college (sixth form) from the age of 16 - 18yrs and studied; English Language, Religious Studies, Health & Social Care and Sociology. A pretty odd mix and not one that gave me a huge amount of focus. I took a four-year break before taking the decision to apply for the International Fashion Management programme at AMFI which started in 2017 and which hopefully means I’ll be graduating in 2021. 

5. What was the journey like to get where you are (in life and career-wise)? Write about some of the achievements that you are most proud of. What was the breakthrough moment for you (in your personal life and/or career?) that set you on the current path in life?

It was, it felt like, or it still feels like, a long and windy, narrow path! I’ve had some incredible experiences in my life which I am tremendously grateful for but I have also suffered with an abundance of grief. I offset those two, to me extremes, and often use a little mix of both to pull me through. I am not one who can look back on my life and pick out achievements because I struggle a lot with self-doubt and acceptance.

Answering these questions is seemingly hard because it’s ‘me’ focused, but I’ll give it a shot. For me my biggest achievement was building the courage to apply for University and then fortunately being accepted and deciding to move my life to Amsterdam. It was a big step for me given my home situation, my mother suffered deeply with her mental health (an unfortunate mix of severe depression, personality disorder, psychosis and schizophrenia). So home life was a little difficult growing up, don’t get me wrong I had a wonderful relationship with my mother and am so grateful to be able to have those memories to hold onto but life wasn't always ‘easy’ in her ill periods, they could last months - years, it was hard to keep morale up.

I went travelling in early 2014 for six months around South America, I was 18 and had finally decided to do something for me. After I returned though I was a little lost, I wanted to stay away and shut myself off from my responsibilities. I got myself into a little bit of a hole, my mother fell ill again and essentially so did I. I suffered from bulimia and body dysmorphia and tried to gain satisfaction from ‘being skinny’ - not ideal. I spent the three years after my trip in and out of jobs, trying to find a role that challenged my abilities, where I felt a good sense of ‘flow’. It never quite came.

Until one day in late 2016 I decided to look into universities, I figured this might be the trick that can pull me up, I’d watched my brother and friends go through the notions of higher education and saw their outcomes, wondering what mine would be. I focused a lot on British universities and there was never any other idea than studying something fashion related, I can’t pinpoint why but it has always been something I’ve been interested in. Back then I think it was mainly for superficial reasons, now not so much, there’s a little more depth to my being.

Somehow I found Amsterdam Fashion Institute and became dead set on attending the programme, relocating my life and starting anew. Now I can see that the desire was more on leaving home and being away from the sadness of my mother's illness more than it was to be a part of the programme. However when the selection process was done and I received my acceptance letter three months later, I felt an overwhelming sense of joy and pride. I had done it. I had actually achieved this thing that I had told myself I would not achieve repeatedly and I did really well. It’s not a feeling I have felt since. 

6. How is your life different from what you pictured at 20?

Well I’m living in a new country, I am surrounded by international friends and I’ve witnessed some life experiences I thought would come a little later down the road. When I finished primary school we did a school play that was based on a reunion we would have in 2020. I told myself I would be a midwife (aged 11), in secondary school I told myself I wanted to be in the army (aged 14), in sixth form I told myself I would be in a health care profession (aged 16). At age 20 I told myself I wanted to go into marketing. Now I tell myself I'll do whatever comes my way and feels right. I’m more in tune with me rather than what I think I should be doing. I guess today’s Wiz has made an effort to peel away the superficiality of her being, to come to know her ego and to remove it’s presence from dominating daily decisions. 

7. Was there a time when life knocked you down or out and how did you get back up on your feet?

Without a doubt. As mentioned previously my mother suffered deeply from a fearful array of mental health illnesses. On October 17th, 2017 she took her own life. I received a phone call whilst I was working at Urban Outfitters in Amsterdam. A City Centre filled with people unaware of my heart breaking in two. The hours that followed were filled with friends trying to help me to return home (I was in my second month at university so my friendship group was new and not solidified).

It was an incredibly hard time, even though it was somewhat inevitable the realisation that it had actually happened, or even finally happened was so disturbing that I had no idea how to function. I did though, I spent three weeks at home with family, organising the funeral and sorting through everything that comes with the death of a loved one. After those three weeks I returned to Amsterdam, went straight back into studying and worked on those friendships that gave me so much support on the frightful night three weeks prior.

I don’t know how I got back on my feet, I guess it was determination to not let this thing I had worked so hard to get slide away from me. It was part resentment, angry at my mother for tarnishing this experience but also part determination to make her proud. An odd mix. I’m in the middle of my third year of University now (supposed to be in Peru for a research project but Coronavirus unfortunately has done a little meddling in that experience). I still use that experience to encourage me to fight, to find motivation. If I can come back from that and get this far, I can make it a little further. 

8. Advice for other women?

It’s a real simple one but It’s something I tell myself and my friends on the daily. Feel your feelings. It’s the one thing that is so deeply necessary. Whenever I hide away from others and myself, covering up my fear, I’m hurting my future self. Feeling your feelings is so important because you’re acknowledging who you are as a whole, and when you share that with yourself and those around you it makes it so much more bearable. I feel lighter and I am able to move forward. Often we are told not to be so emotional or to hide our feelings - for work or in our relationships, in many areas and that, to me is absurd. Feeling your feelings is #1! 

9. Knowing what we know now in a current political climate, can women be "all that we can be" in today's world? What is the way forward, as you see it, for "feminist values"?

100%. It’s just about the fight. Not in the physical sense obviously but fighting for what you believe in. We have come so far in the past 50 years and it is incredible to see. I think the future is about us continuing to unite, to be honest, to support and uplift, to encourage, motivate and stand up for everything we believe is right, that we believe is for the greater good.

Quite often I see women, and men, shunning others for not being feministic enough or for being too feministic. I really don’t see how those actions will help with the progress of equality. Sometimes we lose sight of what we are actually fighting for and I guess, for me anyway, the way forward is to keep an ‘eye on the prize’, focus on working together and building a community to work towards that end goal, understanding that a community is built up of different characters and to embrace all of them in the same way. 

10. Where in the world do you feel “tallest” (i.e. where is your happy place)?

I am lucky enough to have a farmhouse in the South of France. Well my father is, they brought the place about 15 years ago, a rash decision which over the years may have seemed a little foolish but it has graced us with countless beautiful memories. This my retreat. Whenever I’m there I feel free, I am usually surrounded by my family and friends and there is the most beautiful sense of community. Everyone chips in. Everyone listens and supports, everyone is at their simplest and most honest. The area is remote, the land is big, the fruit is plentiful and the sun is usually shining. It’s my happy place for sure, because it’s where I feel most connected; to myself, to others and to nature. 

11. What extracurricular activities/hobbies are you most proud of? Why?

This is where things get a little difficult for me. Where I struggle with self-worth if I don’t succeed fairly quickly, I tend to give up because I get scared that I will never be good enough. However, in recent times I have come to realise my ability to cook. I cook a lot and I absolutely love cooking for others. I guess I am proud of this hobby because it allows me to bring people together, I like knowing that I am able to do that with something I have created.

I have also very recently, as in just this week, purchased a road bike. We were talking as a family that we would organise a bike trip from our house in England to our house in France to spread my mother's ashes and so obviously for such a trip, training needs to take place. So I am proud and surprisingly excited to start the training for the trip and to take up a new hobby. Now I’ll be the one on the two wheels rather than the four on the roads.

12. What do you want to be when you grow up? Future goals/challenges?

I want to be free. I want to be free from the constraints of my mind. This is more of a spiritual and mental well-being goal but I give most of my efforts to sustaining myself and obtaining goals like these because without that there’s not really any ‘me’ to get on with other goals. Aside from that, my goal is to create a space in which people can come to ‘feel their feelings’. I have a dream of opening up a retreat that will help those that are struggling or creatives who need a space to feel free.

That retreat would be home to different professionals that can teach varied skills or give time to those that need to release. It would be to reinforce the importance of giving time to the self. It’s a pretty giant goal, more so a dream but one I am incredibly keen to work towards. 

13. What fears are you still hoping to overcome?

I feel as I’ve grown older that I have become more fearful. As a child I could ski, bike, rollerblade all with no fear of falling. Now that is so much harder, I’m afraid of going up or off a curb on my bike for fear of flying over the handle-bars. It’s an odd sensation because I know it’s silly. So in a sense I want to overcome the fear of dying or on a little note, obtaining an injury.

Overcoming that would present me with an incredible amount of time, of which I could give focus to things that will allow me to grow and achieve my dreams. 

14. Anything you'd do differently, if you had another go at life?

I’d build more patience in my early years. Patience with myself and my mother, my friends and lovers. I was a quick-reactor emotionally as a child and a teen and although this has built who I am now I believe that having had more patience I would or could have made some different decisions. I’d like to say that maybe I would still be able to talk to my mother if I had possessed this but this outcome was inevitable. 

15. What inspires you?

WOW Women! Human beings that care for, are kind to others, that make a difference and that possess a strong sense of drive. My best friends inspire me everyday with small acts of kindness, acts as simple as writing poems and having the courage to share them. 

16. What are you hopeful about?

I’m hopeful about change. We’ve been begging, protesting and talking about change for such a long time, be that with equal rights, climate change, social change and even amidst this global pandemic I am seeing the beauty of change. All of those times we’ve come together to fight for what is right, we are seeing changes now, certainly not in the way we expected them but they are coming and this sense of community that's building around it gives me a lot of hope for the future. Let's hope that continues! 

17. What are some ingredients to a good life?

• Love

• Courage 

• Patience 

Understanding I could list many but these are my ‘core competencies’. I'm still learning about them, different ways to use them and all that jazz. Obviously you can become a master of things but with these characteristics, you’ll be forever learning, building upon them, layers and layers.

I think they keep you grounded and open your heart and eyes to many glorious things. They can turn seemingly shitty situations into ones that allow you to see light.

18. What are (at least) three qualities you most love about yourself and why?

I’m a feeder. An odd quality but I personally believe it is a translation of how I care for others. As I said previously food is a tool I use to bring people together. Many times I have hosted a dinner party and it has provided a space for the guests to feel safe to open up.

Which brings me onto my next quality and that is listening, I know how important it is to have people around you that will and want to listen and so I take great pleasure in being that person for those around me.

19. What advice would you give your 14-year-old self?

• Don’t find validation in boys. Simple as. Find it from yourself, from the positive things that you do. 

• Don’t worry about what others think of your life decisions. If you want to do something and you have the resources to do so, then do so. Too many times you succumbed to what you thought you should do, what you thought was right because that's what others did, that's what society taught you, don’t do that. 

• Love yourself. You went through stages of harming yourself for no other reason that to ‘fit in’, it brought little joy. You are stronger than that, you are strong, believe it! 

20. What are you reading now? (What books do you gift most and what are your favourite reads?)

When I was in sixth form I read a lot. I’d skip classes and hide under my dad's desk to finish the book I was reading, completely and utterly enthralled by the words on the page, I would often be on the brink of peeing myself because I couldn't remove my eyes from the pages. It was odd, it went on for a period of six months, mainly fictional books because I loved to remove myself from reality and get lost in the lives of the characters.

I haven’t read much since then, I figured it wasn’t a very healthy way to engage with the activity of reading, plus it affected my grades… However, I recently got back into fiction and the same thing happened just last week. I managed to read two books in three days, pretty impressed with myself. They were both written by Sally Rooney (‘Normal People’ & ‘Conversations with Friends’), I enjoyed them because I felt I could relate to the characters in both books. She managed to understand the struggles we go through as teenagers and that translates into what we believe to be adulthood, which is really just being a teen with a little more responsibility. These books made me feel understood and took a little weight off because you realise how normal is to feel unnormal.

As for a book I would gift it would have to be ‘The Alchemist’ by Paulo Cohelo, although receiving controversial reviews I think it does a great job at allowing you to understand that following your dreams is doable as long as you have a will for it (obviously there are other factors to take into account but primarily you’ll need a bit of awareness of your ‘personal legend’) 

Also a big Murakami fan, a beautiful writer, although sometimes whimsical, I am always completely enthralled. A favourite of mine being ‘Norwegian Wood’.

21. Who is a WOW WOMAN in your world who inspires you and why? Can you nominate three (or more) women you know who perfectly fit WOW WOMAN description? What would you tell them, if you had an opportunity, why you admire them?

Naomi Chamberlain. Very close to home as she is my best friend. However, she has taught and continues to teach me so much. She is an incredibly strong woman and has herself fought some tough battles, overcoming them and has become more patient, understanding and driven by doing so. She is currently an advocate for young women at ‘Women & Girls Network’, where she works within an empowering framework providing 1-1 advocacy support and group work for women aged 10-18 who have experienced, witnessed or are at risk of all forms of violence against women and girls.

This is an incredibly demanding and challenging role, to play witness to such horrors on the daily and still provide safety and comfort for the girls and women but also for her husband, her family and her friends. She also volunteers at the Jericho Road project at Kings Church, which exists to alleviate poverty in South East London. Helping out at the ‘feast’ on Wednesdays where she gives her time and energy to those in need (part of the Jericho Road project). Her drive is admirable as is her patience, understanding and beauty. I am in awe of her everyday.

I want to name most of the women I have met in my life, each one has taught me something, may that be a new skill or an understanding of certain practices or even taught me something about myself and what I have to offer. It sounds cliche but all women amaze me because I can see the greatness in us all, some may sometimes be a little annoying, overly court, but there’s always something deeper. 

22. Where can others find you/your work (links to websites, blogs, etc.)?

I have Instagram, under the handle @elizxbeff.

I’m thinking of starting a blog during this time but I’m still finding the courage and energy to put that together. I do decide to go for it, it will be posted on my social media pages.

Keep your eyes peeled for a cookbook as well, that’s my baby right now!