Surgeon, Endometriosis Specialist, Tae Kwon Do Black Belt, Single Mother, New York City

“Warm, thorough, friendly, patient, non-judgmental, knowledgeable. She really listened and understood my needs” may not be your typical review for an MD and a specialist. This however was vox populi among patients and Yelp reviewers when it came to Dr. Melanie Marin. She is a surgeon, outstanding health care provider, women’s champion and a WOW Woman with a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. In this feature Dr. Marin also shines as an insightful writer with a gift for introspection.

1. Name.

Melanie Marin.

2. Where is your hometown?

Born in Buffalo, NY but hometown is New York City since 1984.

3. What is your profession/career/title/self-label/designation? What does your average day look like?

I am a gynecologic surgeon, women’s health care provider, endometriosis specialist, menopause advisor, black belt in Tae Kwon Do and single mother of a now grown child.

As someone who would quickly get bored with an “average” day, I’ve set my life up so that every day is a little different. The days that I am in the office seeing patients are filled with the intimate talk of a gynecology practice about topics ranging from mundane health issues to the most important happenings of life—dating, marriage, children, family, parents, care taking, health, illness and the beginnings and ends of lives. I am honored and privileged to be allowed to share so much of so many different women’s lives.

On the days that I am not in the office, I might be teaching residents and fellows or performing surgery. When I am not working, I can often be found teaching or training at the dojang for Tae Kwon Do. I usually traverse the city on my bicycle—helmet on because while I want to be an organ donor, I’d like to postpone that for now!

4. What did you study in school?

I studied biology and french at University. I spent my junior year studying, in French, in Paris. 

5. What was the journey like to get where you are (in life and career-wise)? Write about some of the achievements that you are most proud of. What was the breakthrough moment for you (in your personal life and/or career?) that set you on the current path in life?

I grew up in a small New England town that was very homogeneous and very New England. On a whim, my father suggested that I apply to Columbia College of Columbia University for college. At the time, it was an all male school that had just accepted its first freshman female students. I was in the second year of women admitted to Columbia College. Coming to New York City as a small town girl was probably the most life-changing event that I experienced. In the early 80’s, when I arrived at Penn Station to visit Columbia, it was still in the days of homeless people sleeping everywhere in the station. Many people thought NYC was dangerous.

As I took my first step off the train in Penn Station, I thought “I am home”. I have not felt differently for one minute since. Columbia College was a place that encouraged exploration and study abroad so I was able to complete a Biology major, my premed studies, a French minor and still spend a full year studying the arts in Paris, France during my junior year. That was the first time I had traveled abroad and it opened my life to continued travel and exploration. My daughter and I have traveled to many countries in the world since she was a small child. We continue to enjoy travel together. I look forward to traveling and learning about new places and new cultures for as long as my body allows.

And that is in the background of being a doctor, surgeon and previous obstetrician who has actually saved more than a few lives during the course of my career.

6. How is your life different from what you pictured at 20?

Hah! The longer I live and the more stories I hear, I would like to know almost anyone who could have pictured what their life would really be like when they were only 20! I think when I was 20, I just really had no idea how broad and beautiful life could be.

I am proud of myself because I believe that I have spent my life reaching out to grab everything that life has to offer, to enjoy it fully whether a big event is happening or whether I am just enjoying the simple view of the sun on the leaves of the trees in the park.

7. Was there a time when life knocked you down or out and how did you get back up on your feet?

I don’t think I’ve had any serious “knock downs” in life compared to others. I was divorced from my daughter’s father when she was just a baby. It is hard to have a baby, be working full time and recover from a divorce. But, looking back, I don’t think I could have or would have done anything differently.

As any mother knows, you just soldier on, making the best life for your child that you possibly can. And, I’ve been lucky, I’ve been able to reach out and help others all along the way. Life is hard for many of us so the softer you can make it for those around you, the better.

8. Advice for other women?

Advice for women—for people in general. Probably the most important would be to think about what you want to do every day, think about who you want to be, think about what you want to be. I think often times, life seems so busy that we don’t think about where we want to go. I think the most admirable women I’ve encountered are women who thought about what they wanted from life.

These women figured out what they wanted and then figured out how to get there. These are the women who are the most connected to the friends and family around them. The women who seem to have the most to give back to the world around them. So that is the advice I would give—think, decide, reach.

9. Knowing what we know now in a current political climate, can women be "all that we can be" in today's world? What is the way forward, as you see it, for "feminist values"?

“Feminist values”. I don’t know that I have any advice to give here. Those of us who are older, watched our mothers in the “first wave” of feminism. What wave are we on now? There has been so much change in what is valued as a feminist or even if being a feminist is meaningful. I would like to see women support the growth and choices of women whatever they decide. I am so glad that I am connected to the younger generation by my daughter. It has allowed me to look at values and ideas that I don’t think I would have understood as well without her.

What I see in our young generation of women is a group that many of us don’t understand—the complaints of the old about the young since the beginning of time. What gives me hope is that I also see the seeds of a revolution in our young people. A revolution that might be as big and as transformative as those young people of the 60’s.

I am hoping that these young people change our values so that we no longer tolerate sexism, ageism, verbal assaults, working hours that kill the soul. I look forward to watching them rail against the status quo until it is not there anymore.

10. Where in the world do you feel “tallest” (i.e. where is your happy place)?

Watching my daughter become a giving, rounded, productive woman has made me feel the tallest of all!

11. What extra-curricular activities/hobbies are you most proud of? Why?

Tae Kwon Do! I started when my daughter was about 15 and I had some extra time for myself. I achieved my black belt when I was turning 52. The stamina and mental effort to achieve that level of physical performance were transformative.

12. What do you want to be when you grow up? Future goals/challenges?

I think I want to be just what I am when I grow up. My medical practice is in a place where I can give all of my attention to my patients when they are seeing me. I can help my patients focus on optimizing their health so that they can focus on their lives. I have enough time to continue to travel and explore our great planet—hoping that we will find a way to save it instead of destroy it.

My home is a comfort and my home town is still the light of my heart, giving my sustenance every day. I have a small circle of friends that look like they will last the rest of my life. I hope to continue to grow my soul on this very same path.

14. Anything you'd do differently, if you had another go at life?

I have always said that I have no regrets. Everything I’ve done, every good action, every mistake, every success and every failure have allowed me to grow and learn. I would not be who I am and where I am without all the good and bad so I would not want to change one thing.

15. What inspires you?

People inspire me. When I talk to women who have been through everything and survived, I am inspired.

When I talk to women who are in the late stages of their lives—80’s or even 90’s—and are enjoying themselves and enjoying their lives, I am inspired.

When I see people working every day to do right by others, I am inspired.

16. What are you hopeful about?

I am hopeful about our youth. As I said above, I see the seeds of revolution in these young people. I hope that they change us. I hope that they find a way to save our planet and all it’s magnificence. I am hopeful that these things will happen, despite all evidence to the contrary!

17. What are some ingredients to a good life?

Friends, family, love, acceptance, gratitude. Gratitude is probably the most important aspect to having a good life. Gratitude for every good you see, feel, hear or are allowed to experience.

df18. What are (at least) three qualities you most love about yourself and why?

Three qualities I love about myself: I am fierce (as in strong). I am super intelligent. I am extremely generous.

19. What advice would you give your 14-year-old self?

I would tell my 14-year-old self to stop following the rules for the sake of following the rules. Break the bad rules, to reach out and achieve whatever you want in life.

20. What are you reading now? (what books do you gift most and what are your favourite reads?)

Ha, I would love to read more. But I read very little nowadays. At the moment, I am learning Spanish so mostly am listening to Spanish podcasts rather than reading. There is so much eye work reading for work and using the computer that I almost can’t bear the thought of continuing to use my eyes at the end of the day.

21. Who is a WOW Woman in your world who inspires you and why? Can you nominate three (or more) women you know who perfectly fit WOW WOMAN description? What would you tell them, if you had an opportunity, why you admire them?

I just met a WOW Woman yesterday. A new patient who is 81, super fit, loving her life, traveling to visit her daughter and grand daughter, loving her friends and filling every single day with joy. I told her that she is my idol and my model for me when I am 81.

One of my close friends is another WOW Woman—she also is divorced and was left without financial means by her ex-spouse. She applied for job after job after job since she could not support her children with her photography work. She found a great full time job, continues her photography, raised her children, mentors others and follows a spiritual life of support for others. She knows how much I admire her because I tell her all the time.

And you know who else—Alexandria Ocasio-Ortez—because who would have thought? And now that she’s in the spotlight and could really behave in ridiculous ways, she continues to be thoughtful, intelligent and directed. Go!

22. Where can others find you/your work (links to websites, blogs, etc.)?

melaniemarinmd.com is my website and includes my blogs

Melanie Marin MD on Facebook

@MelanieMarinMD on Twitter

MelanieMarinMD on LinkedIn

Moving from “it is all in your head” to early surgical intervention lecture.

Advancing the Science and Surgery of Endometriosis Symposium lecture.