Ukrainian Polish Border Volunteer, Interior Designer, Hrebenne, Poland

It is March 2022, a month into the brutal Russian invasion of Ukraine. This is the time of the heavy refugee flow into Poland; aggression of the Russian Federation on Ukrainian soil is relentless.

I am on the border with the Polish Humanitarian Aid organization (PAH in Polish). As the buses come to the border, every single person has to unload and pass through the customs area. Mothers and children are carrying bags, cats, dogs, last minute belongings, suitcases full of whatever things, slippers and socks stuffed into the sacs in a panicked state; children are hanging onto their last toy. We see the labels on the buses: “Маріуполь/Mariupol'”, “Херсон/Kherson”, “Суми/Sumy”; these are heavily bombed areas in the East, the pit of the Russia-caused hell. Few buses, we learn, were shot at while driving out the heavily bombed zones. Some women and children I speak with ran for the bus fearing for their lives. The volunteers are mentally prepared, if there is such a thing, for the nervous, the hungry, the brave Ukrainian women who escaped the war zone. As women come into our small hut we see their shell-shocked expressions, their shaking hands accepting the warm tea and coffee, their children peeking at us behind moms’ winter coats. Welcome to Poland, we say; you are safe.

It is windy and freezing. The volunteers are huddled in a small space, in the “no man’s land” between Ukraine and Poland. Still, this is nothing compared to the hours of the pedestrian crossing wait at the start of the invasion, where mothers stood with children in the cold February winds. We greet the women, feed them, offer tea, coffee, diapers and the baby formula packages; those volunteers who speak Russian/Ukrainian offer a listening ear. We are the first EU faces the women see, and in turn we see each Ukrainian face. You are safe, we say. We say this over and over; to the 60+ people per bus (sometimes 120 if it’s a double decker) every 45 mins (that’s how long it takes to go through the customs). There are three eight-hour shifts, covering days and nights.

Among the incredible volunteers I was privileged to meet on the border, Ms. Agnese D’Amore captured my heart and gratitude. An Italian, working in London, Ms. D’Amore decided to use all her vacation days in March and fly to Poland. Tireless worker, she took on the extra jobs, refilling food trays and the massive coffee pots. But most importantly Agnese gave volunteers a gift of positivity; pockets of lightness among the incredible intensity. In between the buses you could see Agnese, concentrating in the corner with a tiny air pump, blowing up and moulding the tiny balloons into flowers, giraffes, puppies and the like. As a result, children smiled, mothers nodded, grateful for a moment of joy. Agnese didn’t speak a word of Ukrainian or Russian, but connected with Ukrainians better than anyone else I know.

Below is the WOW Woman Q/A with one of the most genuine kind-hearted souls I know.

1. Name.

Agnese D’Amore.

2. Where is your hometown?

Rome, but I’ve lived in the UK for over 10 years (Manchester + London).

3. What is your profession/career/title/self-label/designation? What does your average day look like?

I am an Interior Designer. I am currently mainly involved in workplace design projects while assisting on architectural projects, being in an architectural practice. I do most of my work at the office, but I also often need to attend site visits, client meetings, workshops with various consultants, materiality reviews. Being a designer is also about networking and going to after-work events, to be able to keep up with latest trends and design news, which are increasingly focused on improving user experiences and implementing sustainability.

4. What did you study in school?

Interior Design in Manchester (BA) followed by an MA taken at Royal College of Art, London.

5. What was the journey like to get where you are (in life and career-wise)? Write about some of the achievements that you are most proud of. What was the moment for you that changed your life (in your personal life and/or career?) that set you on the current path in life?

Leaving Italy has definitely been my life-changing moment. I didn’t have a clear plan or direction to follow but I knew I had to become economically self-sufficient while finding that out. I studied thanks to a student loan and worked part-time (or sometimes full-time) in the hospitality field to pay for my living. In Manchester this was feasible to do but also very tiring as I could count on little free time and almost no possibility of ever going on a holiday. I also often had less time than other students to complete tasks but, overall, I believe I gained a lot from the whole process, which made me more confident and stronger.

6. How is your life different from what you pictured at 20?

I’ve always pictured myself in a creative field but I didn’t known what “designing” truly meant.

Surely, I didn’t imagine myself in a city like London, trying to understand how big companies operate and working to improve their office environments. I am proud of what I’ve achieved so far but I am aware there is still so much to learn!

7. Was there a time when life knocked you down or out and how did you get back up on your feet?

Yes, in Italy, for family reasons. Despite the support friends and family were trying to give me, I had been a lost young woman for a while. Hence, beginning a new life in the UK has been vital for me.

8. Advice for other women?

To not be too hard on themselves. To not compare themselves to others, as we all have different lives, needs, personalities and paths. It’s ok to not always be at 100% and it’s ok to have down moments too, short or long. To always try to keep a positive attitude, as I believe good new things happen when the right moments occur. To be brave when wishing for something and always “go for it”, as in worst-case scenarios it doesn’t get achieved but the learning process would always be a success in itself. Lastly, to let people help.

9. Knowing what we know now in a current political climate, can women be "all that we can be" in today's world? What is the way forward, as you see it, for "feminist values"?

Generally speaking, I believe we are sadly still very far from equality as it is definitely harder for women to affirm themselves both professionally and personally in society. I think education could play a key role in embedding knowledge and values and that should be more carefully considered.

 10. Where in the world do you feel “tallest” (i.e. where is your happy place)?

When I go back to R(h)ome and all my friends-of-a-lifetime are there and we simply get to spend time together.

11. What extracurricular activities/hobbies are you most proud of? Why?

I am passionate about ice skating, in which I invest a lot of my time. It is truly a hobby for me, as I didn’t learn it as a child and it is not possible for adults to reach competitive levels. Sometimes people question why I put that much effort into it and the answer is purely because I love it. Therefore, I will never regret it.

I’ve also recently decided to volunteer for the Ukrainian crisis by going to the Polish-Ukrainian border in the city called Hrebenne. I left London soon after the war started without really knowing what I would end up doing on the border, where exactly, who with and where I would sleep. I can’t deny I was a little scared at first, but something in my head kept telling me I had to go. I was only meant to help for a few days but when the time of my return flight arrived, I simply found myself unable to leave; I felt an energy I have never experienced before. I met motivated people ready to work with me the craziest hours in the coldest conditions because the reward we would get through people’s gratitude and smiles, was beyond any words.

We were “only” serving teas and coffees, giving food and clothes and we were listening, encouraging, hugging, and showing our support. Nothing too difficult, but I realised I was good at it. I introduced balloons sculptures to give to children (something I learnt to do many years ago). The joy some kids would show was truly heart-breaking, to say the least. Now other volunteers have learnt and are carrying on the “trend”, which makes me feel extremely proud!

This has probably been the most intense and profound experience I’ve ever had. It gave me a lot of strength (despite the extremely dramatic situations I witnessed) and it made me realise that I want volunteering to become part of my life.

What would you want the world to know about Ukrainian people and Ukrainian women (that they may not realize/know)?

I’ve never had Ukrainian friends before, so I am grateful I had an opportunity of getting closer to Ukrainians while volunteering at the border. I observed very strong and independent Ukrainian women, with a high sense of responsibility, human empathy and big hearts. Undoubtedly, what impressed me the most, was Ukrainian resilience and perseverance, accompanied by an admirable tenacious hope.

12. What do you want to be when you grow up? Future goals/challenges?

I want to be capable of using my profession to really have a strong impact on people’s lives.

I want to achieve more flexibility and free time, to be able to gain different life experiences while progressing with my career. I want to create a family and I want to skate lots.

13. What fears are you still hoping to overcome?

I mostly fear I am not doing what I would be truly best at. I am scared of having regrets by making wrong life choices or remaining too comfortable and not taking risks.

14. Anything you'd do differently, if you had another go at life?

I would have asked for help with my mental health sooner, instead of trying to solve everything by myself. By doing that, I would have probably managed to understand what I wanted to study / become much sooner, and I believe my life’s journey would have been simpler, healthier, more enjoyable and more successful.

15. What/who inspires you?

People who really seem happy with what they have and do, who are quite rare to find.

16. What are you hopeful about?

I am hopeful about reaching inner happiness and about leaving the world knowing that I have affected even the smallest positive change.

18. What are (at least) three qualities you most love about yourself and why? What are your superpowers?

Creativity – Independence – Kindness

19. What advice would you give your 14-year-old self? What advice would your 14-year-old self give you in return?

To be self-reliant but to also understand how important others are and how much they can help and love to help you. The 14 year-old me would tell me to listen to my heart and to make my own mistakes. Many mistakes.

20. What are you reading now? (what books do you gift most and what are your favourite reads?)

I am reading “Uncanny Valley” by Anna Wiener and “Patria”(“Homeland”) by Fernando Aramburu. I mostly enjoy architectural & design books but also philosophical readings and romances.

21. Who is a WOW WOMAN in your world who inspires you and why? Can you nominate three (or more) women you know who perfectly fit WOW WOMAN description? What would you tell them, if you had an opportunity, about why you admire them?

I believe a WOW Woman is someone who is brave, generous and passion-driven. From my experience at the Ukrainian border, I nominate every woman who’s been part of the process. In general, anyone who dedicates time, energy, finances, head and heart helping others, expecting nothing in return.

22. Where can others find you/your work (links to websites, blogs, etc.)?

I do not have a personal blog, but you can find me on:

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/agnesedamore/

Instagram: @agnesedamore

BONUS QUICK ROUND QS:

1. What and who is worth suffering for?

Causes we believe in. People we love and people who are or have suffered.

2. What would you do if you knew that nobody would judge you?

I would spend time finding things I enjoy without worrying about fitting in society. I would not feel the need of following trends and I would not care about my own appearance. I would approach relationships differently.

3. Who is/are your mentor/s (men or women)?

I’ve had different mentors throughout my life. During my childhood, certainly my parents, various family members, school teachers and sport coaches. As a teenager, I’ve been following a woman who was a member of a catholic Peruvian community. With her and the community I’ve shared numerous conversations about the meaning of life, trying to understand who I was and how to better direct my actions and choices to make a positive impact. We have meditated lots, got involved in different volunteering experiences and had many constructive and fun adventures together.

Growing older, I believe my best mentors are often my friends and, about a year ago, I started a meaningful journey with a psychotherapist. She has given me plenty of guidance through her experience and open-minded approach and keeps supporting me in achieving my personal and professional goals.

4. If you didn't have to work anymore what would you do with your days?

I would spend time to explore, experiment, read, study, volunteer and travel. I would skate, play basketball and try other sports, as they considerably help my mental and physical wellbeing. I would build things: a house, a community center, a bar, a school, a healing center, a lab…anything.

5. If you could be anyone for a day who would you be?

Someone with great political power, to attempt to make real changes in a day.

6. If you could relive one year in your life, which one would it be?

I would probably go back to when I was 15. I went to Peru for a month to volunteer with children while visiting the country. The things I’ve learnt (including quite a lot of Spanish), the people I’ve met, the landscapes I’ve seen and the culture I’ve embraced, live still very vividly in my memories.

7. What bothers you most about other people? What do you love most about other people?

I do not accept ignorance, prejudice, bias, bullying and people who think they do not need to respect rules as everybody else’s does. I love generosity, empathy and non-judgmental personalities.